Feudal Fairy Tale Ficlets
by Botan and Momigi
Summary: Two authors. 100-word ficlets. Fun with the letter "F". Variety of characters and genres.
1. Family

A/N: As this is my first author's note, I would like to begin by giving Momigi credit for three things:

First, for being my absolute best friend in the world. The things we've seen each other through play like a bad after-school special. I will do unspeakable things to anyone who hurts her.

Second, for getting me hooked on Inuyasha in the first place. I started watching the anime barely six months ago just to humor her, and now here I am writing fanfiction.

Third, for coming up with this fanfiction idea. Actually, the whole thing was her work in the beginning, until I hijacked the project and she agreed to let this be a group effort. Thanks, Momigi, I'll do my best.

Now, as for "Family," I love it (although it is uncharacteristically fluffy for Momigi's usual work). When she read me the line "belligerent and numerous" I shrieked with laughter. It's a great way to have the famous Sesshoumaru / Inuyasha interaction and a happy ending too. And just so you know, this could very likely be the last happy fanfic you ever get from Momigi, so I hope you appreciate it.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Family"**

The brothers were never close, and Naraku's demise did nothing to change that. However, they had reached a new understanding: fighting was okay, but no killing. It would upset the women too much.

Actually, sparring had become a routine between the two dog demons. It helped them stretch their legs. And helped them keep their sanity amidst ever growing households.

"So," Inuyasha panted, "how's the kids?" He took a swipe with Tesseiga, then neatly back flipped away from Tokijin's return.

"Belligerent and numerous," Sesshomaru's replied. "And yours?"

"Teething," Inuyasha grunted.

Nodding proudly, they continued fighting until sundown, before going home


	2. Faint

A/N: Just to eliminate any confusion, here's what's up with the author's notes: Botan comments on the ficlets Momigi has written, and vice versa.

I guess that leaves me to say a few things about Botan before we get started. When I first proposed this collaboration idea to her, I thought she would laugh at me. But she latched on, and now here we are posting. I am the one responsible for getting her hooked on Inuyasha. The day I realized she wasn't watching it just to humor me was a triumphant one, and I relish that I have again managed to corrupt another aspect of her life with my persuasive powers. But she'll tell it differently. Now, about the fic. I guess it doesn't help that Botan is taking a course in First Aid as she writes this. If it were more true to life, and I mean her life, the fic would be called "Concussion." What are you up to now, 7? Fainting would probably be considered pleasant.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Faint

"Come on Kagome, just breathe—in and out, slowly."

Concentrating harder, Kagome tried to comply. Inuyasha's hand was on her shoulder; he was keeping his voice calm, but occasional tremors belied his worry.

"It'll be over soon. Keep breathing—you're doing fine."

It was all her fault.

She had explained hyperventilation. She had let Inuyasha read her first aid book. She had let the heat of the day get to her.

And now she was sitting on a rock in the middle of the Sengoku Jidai, head between her knees, an overprotective hanyou making her breathe into a paper bag.


	3. Fangs

A/N: Stray human tissues between his teeth? Honestly, sometimes I think Momigi comes up with this stuff just to get a rise out of me. So we've settled that the imagery here is very...vivid. As for the rest, I do like the detail of Rin getting bitten by a dog, but I think Sesshoumaru would be more likely to hunt down said dog and eat it than see the episode as any reflection on himself.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Fangs"**

What good were fangs if they were never used?

When the bloodlust hit Sesshomaru _hard_, he would abandon his trusted blade and lunge full on at his foes, teeth bared. The sensation of sinking his fangs into the skin of his victim was _sensual_. Stray tissue would thread between his teeth as he tore away a chunk of flesh. Gore sprayed, throats screamed, bodies fell..._bloody fantastic._

Then one day, while searching a village for food alone, Rin was bitten by a stray dog. Crying loudly, she sought Sesshomaru's comfort.

Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to use his fangs after that.


	4. Fragment

A/N: I think this is Botan's secret lament that she never did Girl Scouting. I'd take her camping myself, except she'd prolly, like, die in the wilderness from breaking her ankles in some hole, getting a concussion, and then being sunburned crispy. In all seriousness though, I should leave her gimpy ankles out of this. It's a good fic.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Fragment

They gather parts to make a whole—they join the pieces in the hope of making sense of the intricacies of their quest.

One Shikon Shard equals:

One mouthful of ramen under the moonless sky.

One hair of Kiara's tickling your nose.

One crying mushroom pointing the way.

One blissful moment before hiraikotsu finds your skull.

One voice calling your name, letting you know help is coming, begging you to hold on.

One meeting of the eyes that carves out a vacancy in your heart, making room for you know not what, because you have already blushed and turned away.


	5. Feline

A/N: Awww...is this sweet or what? Momigi cried bitter tears the first time she saw the Secret Flower Garden anime episode, and can still get misty any time she watches it. She has always had a soft spot for the taijiya kids—probably because of the overwhelming ANGST of it all. Me, I like Sango, but have never cared that much for Kohaku. He's definitely the most victim-y of all the Inuyasha victims and that can only tug at your heart for so long.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Feline"**

"Kirara! Here kitty kitty!" little Kohaku beckoned, holding out a frayed piece of string.

The cat lunged forward, batting madly at the new toy, and the boy laughed.

"Mou, Kohaku!" Sango scolded. "Kirara is not a housecat! She's a demon, and she helps Chichiue fight other demons." The young girl crossed her arms, signifying the end of her lecture.

Kohaku giggled. "But Aneue," he wheedled, "she's so _cute_!"

Sango watched the two-tailed cat roll onto its back and kick all four of its paws at the string. Kohaku did have a valid point.

Kirara mewed sweetly, and Sango surrendered.


	6. Furious

A/N: Okay, some things you must know about Botan. First, she is not a Kikyou hater; she feels empathy for the poor girl and her epic qualities. Personally, I think the whole undead ex-girlfriend thing is overrated. Secondly, if this ficlet was not published under the category of _Inuyasha_, it would pretty much be autobiographical. She can even do "the Look" that Kikyou gets, long before she started watching the show.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Furious

You think I'm enjoying this?

You think what I had, and how long I had it, make up for this?

You think anything in this world will bring me peace?

I lost _everything_.

And you seem to think that's acceptable.

You seem to think I am all duty and no emotion.

But I'm so lost now. And when you look at me with fear in your eyes, something in me twists and burns and I'm glad you're afraid.

So I let the fury build inside me, and then I turn my gaze upon you and watch as you are devoured.


	7. Fast

A/N: "He could never catch Kagome"—love that. Generally speaking I'm the more Kouga-focused of the duo, but here Momigi proves that she is more than capable of doing the subject justice. It's certainly a valid point—for all the running Kouga does, where does he ever end up?

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Fast"**

It was almost a game to him.

Ginta and Hakkaku knew they would never be able to keep up with Kouga, but they still chased him. And he still ran like the wind.

Sometimes, he would stop and let them catch up, only to take off again. They would huff and puff after him, calling for him to slow down. Kouga would slow down only to see his beloved miko, and to tease the mutt.

It was a hard reality to swallow, and Kouga would never admit it aloud. Still, as fast as he was, he could never catch Kagome.


	8. Fan

A/N: Kagura is awesome, hands down. Botan's theory is that she should remain an entity unto herself in fan-fiction, or in other words, absent from pairings. First and foremost because she's BUNSHIN, and being an offshoot of Naraku kinda dooms you from the start. Secondly, because she's an independent woman, a guy would probably get in the way of her being the free, free wind.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Fan

Actually, Kagura had two fans.

One was an integral part of herself: a fearsome weapon summoning a multitude of cutting winds.

The other had belonged to some hapless village woman.

She had taken it from the smoking remains of a settlement, attracted to its innocuous nature.

The only wind at its command was a gentle breeze. Its greatest attack was a rap to the knuckles of a disobedient child or the head of an overeager suitor.

She thought that, someday, a fan like that would be all she needed.

She stuck it in her obi, and continued on her way.


	9. Flowers

A/N: And here the ANGST of Momigi falls on us with all the subtlety of a nuclear bomb. Now is as good a time as any to acquaint you with an important part of Momigi's psychology—what I like to call the Rin Complex. Momigi's favorite Inuyasha character is Sesshoumaru. She loves the voice, the strength, the youkai whip, the fluff, the crescent, and the first time she saw him do that thing where he flicks the blood off his sword, well...her heart was won. Momigi is all about the Sesshoumaru / Rin relationship. Momigi would love to be Rin. She loves the strong, silent, deadly type. She has one of those Sesshoumaru plushies and to tell you the truth I am afraid of it.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Flowers"**

She started picking flowers out of a lack of anything better to do. Soon, it became a staple in her routine. Rin would pass her time away from Sesshomaru-sama each day by making bouquets of favored flowers.

As she grew older, the task became a technique. Her duty was to create the tasteful floral arrangements that decorated the halls of Sesshomaru-sama's shiro. Winter was hard. When Spring blossoms appeared, Rin's creative spirits soared again.

Her favorite color was white, but Sesshomaru always thought of sakura blossoms when he looked at her. He was sure to put both on her grave


	10. Fluke

A/N: And I bet you all can guess how Botan and I met for the first time: a fluke. Her door was open, I poked my head in to see what her room looked like and ended up staying for 4 years. She describes the experience as something like finding a lost kitten at her door-step. This Momigi is not a kitten. Unless, I am a kitten of DoooOOOoOooOm!

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Fluke

"How'd you fall down the well the first time?"

Kagome turned her head. "That centipede youkai, remember?"

"But why were you in the well house in the first place?"

She snickered. "The cat. He ran in there and Sota was too scared to go get him. It was just a fluke, really."

"Flute?"

"No, no, _fluke_. Something that happens for no reason."

He snorted. "No reason, baka?"

A jewel ripped from her body. A sealing arrow vanishing from between her fingers. The cry of an orphaned kitsune. A lonely monk. A grieving taijiya.

It couldn't have happened any other way.


	11. First

A/N: More ANGST, though considering this is Momigi writing it certainly could have been worse. I love this other-world dialogue. Izayoi, Sesshoumaru, Kikyou, and Kagome all together? That's quite a panel. Poor Kagome—I am not and will never be a Kikyou hater, but I wish she wasn't so adamant about dragging Inuyasha to hell.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**First"**

"I am the first human who loved Inuyasha," wept Izayoi. "I accepted him, when all others scorned his existence. I gave him kindness first."

"This Sesshomaru was the first to loathe Inuyasha," the proud demon proclaimed. "He received cruelty from the day he had the misfortune of meeting me. I hated him first."

"I was Inuyasha's first friend," Kikyo sighed. "I earned his trust, and gave him the companionship he craved in return. I was Inuyasha's first love."

"I am …" Kagome struggled. She had nothing "first" with Inuyasha. "I…cannot be first. I can hope, instead, to be his last."


	12. Favorite

A/N: Botan wrote an _outline_ for this. How does one write an outline for something that is only 100 words? And yet I was nonetheless excited when she told me of her ideas for this ficlet in the beginning stages. This is about as angsty as she gets, folks.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Favorite

Of course she's the one. They have a promise. Nothing has changed their love. Every time she appears he goes to see her without hesitation. She has powers I barely comprehend. She's an ally in the fight, not a tag-along. And she's dead. I can't compete with that.

I'm losing him. She's by his side, and nothing can change the bond growing between them. Every time we meet we say less. She only wants his happiness—I don't understand that. She's a promise for the future, not a hand grasping from the grave. She smiles. I can't compete with that.


	13. Fantasy

A/N: If anyone knows how to write a fan-girlish fascination with Sesshoumaru, it's Momigi. As Momigi made clear in a previous author's note, I disapprove of Kagura/Sesshoumaru romantic pairings, but I think the manga and anime make clear that she does have what amounts to a schoolgirl crush on the taiyoukai. So I find no fault with the ficlet on those grounds. Sesshoumaru's dialogue here is absolutely hilarious. It reminds me of the recent manga chapter "Peaceful Table" when Kagome is cooking dinner at the shrine and fantasizes about an Inuyasha so moved by her culinary skills that he wipes away tears and tells her that in all his life he has "never eaten a meal as gracious as this." And who better to slam us back into life's dismal realities than Hakadoushi? Those two are always great together.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Fantasy**"

"Kagura," Sesshomaru purred.

"Hmmm?" the wind witch coyly replied.

The great demon lowered his eyes, and spoke softly, almost tenderly. "This Sesshomaru sees the tragedy of your existence. It is a great pity to have an exquisite creature such as you chained to that loathsome, filthy, abomination Naraku." He cupped her face in his single hand.

Kagura batted her ruby eyes, and tapped her fan against her pouting lips. "Have you come to free me, then?" she asked.

"I have," Sesshomaru growled. He jerked her face upward, moving to devour her in a kiss. "Kagura…"

"Kagura!" Hakudoshi snapped. "Quit daydreaming."


	14. Four

A/N: So a monk walks into a bar, where he sees a demon slayer chick. He goes up to her and asks, "Would you mind bearing children for me?" Heh heh. I think Botan hit this right on the head; they are an unlikely band of traveling companions. If Sango was real, and lived in America, she'd be Southern. I'm sure of it.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Four

They were, without doubt, the strangest group of people she'd ever met.

She wasn't afraid of them...exactly.

Did they honestly think she was interested in trekking across all of Japan after what she had just been through?

Duty called her home. She had to repair the village walls, pray over the graves, and start training apprentices. She was responsible for raising up a new generation of taijiya. There was no time to lose.

And the houshi was _looking_ at her.

A miko, a houshi, a kitsune, a hanyou, and a ...taijiya?

It sounded like the beginning of a bad joke.


	15. Fake

A/N: Momigi asked my permission to write a Kikyou ficlet. She knows that I am very protective of her and do not like to see her abused—as she unfortunately so often is in the fandom. And then when she finished it she read it to me to make sure I approved of it. So rest easy, all you Kikyou fans who surely must be out there somewhere, although you are certainly keeping your heads down: "Fake" was given Botan's unqualified seal of approval. After all, I knew that Momigi in all her angst-y-ness would not be able to keep her claws off Kikyou for long.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Fake**"

I have no flesh. I have no heart. The blood in my veins? Dust. The breath in my lungs? A death's rattle.

I am grave dirt, and sacred spells. I am a ghost, reborn into a false body.

I cannot even be sure how much of my own soul remains within me.

They wonder why I walk about in the world, clinging to an existence that is not mine. They tell me I am fake.

This…hatred, and passion that consumes me…I can _feel_ it. I know it is real. It grows and breathes. It _lives_ within me.

_Am_ I fake?


	16. Fox

A/N: True Inuyasha connoisseurs will have caught the reference to the show within the text, which is Souten confusing Shippou to be something other than a fox. It's like a running joke in the series. Everything is called a raccoon, when it really is a fox, badger, or weasel. I don't ever see Miroku's raccoon friend Hachi getting called a badger. Botan absolutely adores Souten, the cute Thunder Demon who challenges Shippou to a duel. I like Souten's little red pet dragon, who is consequently called a flying snake by Inuyasha. Identity crises abound.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Fox

Thunderheads swooped down from the heights, growling and thickening until the very trees seemed bent under their weight. Bolts of fire and light danced through the sky, casting feather-light shadows in the darkness.

It was some of her best work.

Jyaki tickled her spine—she would have a fight on her hands soon. Why else would a demon approach so steadily and yet so hesitatingly?

She sniffed experimentally. Raccoon? Badger?

"Oi."

She turned.

Surely an attacker wouldn't grin like that.

"Nice work, Souten-sama, but I wish you'd either call it off or let me come in and get dry."

_Fox._


	17. Found

A/N: More taijiya angst, and another reference to the Secret Flower Garden episode, which I think Momigi watches over and over just to punish herself. You'd think from all the attention she gives these two that Momigi herself must have a little brother she loves more than life and self and honor put together, but really the closest thing she has to a little brother is mine. And while she is fairly protective of him, she also enjoys seeing how quickly she can get him blushing red as a beet and absolutely terrified of her. Momigi has always enjoyed making people nervous around her, and producing darker-than-the-pits-of-Hell fanfics is one of her favorite methods.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Found**"

Sleep was a rare thing for the young taijiya, and lately, his dreams had been filled with empty promises.

"Aneue," Kohaku dared to whisper, stilling his thoughts.

She was there to greet him as soon as he drifted off. He was laughing, telling how he managed to escape Naraku and reach her; she listened to him, eyes glistening with joyous tears.

"I'm proud of you, Kohaku," his sister beamed.

It felt so _good_ to hear her praise again, even if only in his dreams.

She had come _so close_ to catching him today. He hid, and wept.

_Soon, Aneue. Soon._


	18. Future

A/N: Botan told me that she rather likes the word "wench." It can be quite fun, and it is the nicer translation of Inuyasha's pet name for Kagome. I like the word "concubine." Look for it in later postings! In this fic, the part of Kagome is played by Mr. Wizard. I bet someone could write a comprehensive paper about the space-time continuum that exists within the series. I'll give a cookie to anyone who wants to try.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Future

"Kagomeeeee, how much longer is Inuyasha going to keep picking on me?"

"Kagome-chan, will there ever be more taijiya in Japan?"

"Kagome-sama, am I the last person who will ever be cursed with a kazaana?"

"Oi, wench, how much longer before we beat Naraku?"

_They don't understand at all_, thought Kagome, looking around wildly. _Just because I'm from the future doesn't mean I know any of these things. They're so sure of being remembered—they think the outcome of our quest is common knowledge in my time. _

_And I would have thought so too, except I know that it isn't._


	19. Fundoshi

A/N: Momigi wrote this ficlet only because I dared her to. That is to say, I didn't dare her to write this exact ficlet, but when we were brainstorming words that began with "f" I dared her to write "fundoshi." She didn't accept right away—I think she was waiting until she could come up with the cleverest way possible to throw the dare right back in my face. And I have to say, I find this adorable.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Fundoshi**"

"It's so…small."

The two girls stared at the undergarment, trying to guess who it belonged to.

"It's gotta be Inuyasha," Sango reasoned. "With the way Houshii-sama talks"

"but he's _half_ demon," Kagome argued. "Gotta be Miroku's."

Blushing, the girls carefully examined the loincloth, like it was an ancient artifact that would crumble to pieces if they breathed wrong.

Suddenly, a shrill cry pierced their ears. "My fundoshi!" Shippo wailed. "You found it!"

"Yours?" the girls echoed.

"Of course," the fox scoffed, "I'm the only one around here who wears one."

The girls turned scarlet. Somehow, that was _worse_.


	20. Fireflies

A/N: Initially, I wanted to take a shot at this fic. I knew that it had to be about Kikyou; the imagery is perfect. This was before I asked Botan to sign on this project, and before she sent me the first Kikyou fic she wrote. I've had my share of hurt-ness in life, but I've honestly never been betrayed by anyone. This makes it difficult for me to fully grasp Kikyou's character, and why I think so many others seem to dislike her. Well Botan, you may know Kikyou better, but I can shoot a bow and arrow better. That's one part of her that's all mine!

Fireflies

As a miko, Kikyou was taught to appreciate a firefly's understated beauty—the miracle of a creature that created its own light.

These days, she always felt vaguely that they were mocking her.

_Now we're here. Now we're not. Now you see us. Now you don't._

Now you're loved. Now you're not.

Now you're dead. Now you're not.

Now you have your soul back. Now just a piece.

Now you think you've been betrayed.

Now you think—maybe?—you weren't.

Now you're dead again.

Sorry, just a rumor.

Inuyasha promised you.

But now you realize that nothing stays true anymore.


	21. Float

A/N: Kouga has been one of my favorite characters ever since the first time he took Kagome's hands in his own and informed her that she was his woman. Momigi has never seemed that enthusiastic about him—according to her, if Kouga were supposed to be more important, he would kill more stuff—but I think this ficlet shows that she agrees with me in that what makes Kouga a truly priceless character is the way Inuyasha reacts to him.

(reference to episodes 116-117)

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Float**"

The wolf survived.

_Oh goody_.

It's gonna take hours to get his stench outta my clothes. I _hate_ that smell; too much blood. Kagome's foolin' herself. Just 'cause Kouga says he's not killin' humans, don't mean he's not killin' other stuff. She turns green whenever I cook rabbit too rare. She'd prolly pass out watchin' Kouga eat.

Which isn't such a bad thing. At least _I_ know how to use chopsticks.

I haven't floated in the water like this since I was a kid. S'nice. Wonder if Kagome's ever done it.

Bet Kouga doesn't even take baths. Keh. Stinkin' wolf.


	22. Frustrated

A/N: This is quite an angsty fic, but it comes at a price: Botan knows what she's talking about here. I'm quite proud of her for writing it the way she did; it probably took a lot of guts to do it. Just remember that if it all happens again, I'll be happy to come over and read _King Lear_ to you, anytime.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Frustrated

I'm dying.

I think the others tend to forget this. Sometimes I forget too.

But the pain keeps me up at night. A kazaana _hurts_, even when you're not incapacitating yourself with _saimyoushou_.

People say I'm a poor excuse for a houshi—lying and stealing, drinking sake and groping women and, according to them, _taking life so lightly_.

Yes, I'm having a wonderful time.

There is something large and evil and toxic growing inside of me. And it's going to kill me. And there's not a thing I can do about it.

And it's all so tragically, stereotypically, laughably unfair.


	23. Fashion

A/N: Two great things about this ficlet. First: Mama is in it. Who doesn't love Mama? "Oh look, the tea stem just folated! This pickled radish is delicious!" Second: a thoroughly freaked out Inuyasha acting like the approximately fifteen years old he is. Apparently something certainly interesting and probably life-threatening happened to the tachi, but all we know for sure is that Mama is totally unimpressed with Kagome's clothes and Inuyasha DID NOT SEE ANYTHING. This ficlet gave me the giggles for some time.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"**Fashion**"

Kagome's mother had to wonder what kind of fashion statement her daughter was trying to make wearing a bunched up red haori covered with bloodstains.

"What happened?" she asked, Kagome and Inuyasha appearing in the kitchen.

"I didn't see her naked!" Inuyasha yelped, face flaming.

Kagome laughed nervously. "My uniform got stolen," she explained sheepishly.

Mama nodded. "You're lucky I bought a new one yesterday," she scolded. "Just be careful with this one."

Kagome hugged her mother, then bounded upstairs to change.

"Isn't that your coat, Inuyasha?" Mama asked.

"I DIDN'T SEE HER NAKED!"

Mama shrugged. _Let embarrassed dogs lie_.


	24. Fraternal

A/N: First off, you have to read this fic keeping in mind that the first line of dialogue is by one speaker, and the second is by another, and their conversation continues in the same pattern. Botan is an older sister, but her brother is over a foot taller than she is, so she only had the toddler years to bully him in. She prolly couldn't reach high enough to tweak his nose now. If Inuyasha and Sesshomaru didn't have swords, I bet they'd go at each other with fists and fur flying. I mean, I can imagine why Inuyasha would be so frustrated, being the younger brother of someone so dashingly awesome. Souta is a cutie-pie, but for some odd reason the English dub seems to think he's already hit puberty in the third grade.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Fraternal

"They always think they're so much smarter."

"Like you're not as good, for some reason."

"Always ordering you around."

"Trying to take your stuff."

"Beating you up if they don't get their way."

"Hitting _hard_, even though they're stronger."

"And they get to do _everything_."

"Because your parents trust them more."

"Which doesn't make any sense."

"Especially since they insist that your parents love _you_ more."

"Like it's your fault, when really it's because he's such a—"

"Inuyasha!"

He hadn't realized Kagome was right behind them.

"I know you and Souta enjoy discussing younger-child issues, but watch your mouth."


	25. Filler

A/N: Inuyasha filler is kind of like the little girl with the little curl in the middle of her forehead...when it's good it's very very good and when it's bad it's horrid. Some of my favorite anime episodes have been pure filler—Red and White Priestesses Blocking the Way, Shippou's Battle Royale, the cat demons, the culture festival, Fateful Love Song of Before We Met—the list goes on and on. On the other hand, when Inuyasha decides to drag, nobody can go more slowly or seem more pointless. Case in point: what on earth has happened to the manga these last few months? Momigi channels her frustration in a constructive manner and presents us with this charming ficlet. What can I say—we are two very satirical people, even (especially?) when it comes to the things we love.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Filler"

"We've got to find Naraku!" Inuyasha gallantly proclaimed.

"Uh, first we have to fight some cats," Miroku interjected.

"But then Naraku, right?" the hanyou demanded.

"Actually there's a culture festival at school," Kagome pleaded.

"Then we fight Naraku!" Inuyasha yelled excitedly.

"As soon as we take care of the double-bladed demon sword," Sango added.

"Can we go after Naraku when that's over?" Inuyasha asked, exasperated.

"I have to be kidnapped by a cute badger chick," Shippou said sheepishly.

"After that?" the hanyou begged.

"I need to show up inexplicably," Kikyo deadpanned.

"_Then_ we get Naraku?"

"Who's Naraku?" the Tachi asked.


	26. Frank

A/N: Botan and I have a thing about AU fics. Mainly, we hate them. Okay, not all of them; just the "Kagome invites Inuyasha and the gang over to her time for a school dance" ones. C'mon. If your highest concept of love is prom, then you are in a sad state. _Inuyasha _has many epic qualities to it (Homer, Jane Austen, Brothers Grimm, etc.), and to reduce it to an overrated rite of teenage passage is bordering on insulting. Seriously, he protects her with every fiber of his being. He _kills_ things for her. _That_ is love. And that is our opinion. You may commence with the hate mail.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Frank

"Ne, Inuyasha—come home with me tonight?"

"What for, wench?"

"There's a dance at school tonight—"

"What's _wrong_ with you?" he howled. "This is a _quest_. We've got to defeat the forces of evil, save the world, defend the helpless, and discover our destinies. Does the word _epic_ mean anything to you? I've bled for you, cried for you, showed you the depths of my soul, and the most romantic and meaningful event you can imagine for us involves shuffling to sappy tripe in a hot gymnasium while all your friends watch?"

"And you wonder why I prefer Kikyou."


	27. Fist

A/N: Of course Momigi can't resist an opportunity to point out an area where Sesshoumaru is superior to Inuyasha. Well, we all remember when Sesshoumaru does the Kaze no Kizu, and that is definitely handling a sword with finesse. Remember that comment he makes about how Inuyasha swings Tessaiga around like a log? That's one of Momigi's favorite Sess/Inu moments. However, I couldn't help but notice the angst that slides in at the end. This is an ominous sort of note—Kagome is alone in the modern era, heading back to an apartment, attacked, with no defense except the memory of a move Sesshoumaru pulled in the Sengoku Jidai? There are implications here, and knowing Momigi they must be at least somewhat deliberate...

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Fist"

As with everything he did, Sesshomaru fought with finesse. In comparison, Inuyasha looked like he was out to hit a piñata.

Sesshomaru punched Inuyasha squarely in the jaw, sending the hanyou skidding backwards in the dust.

Kagome had never punched someone, but she had wanted to. She didn't know how to do it. She watched the fight from the sidelines, taking mental notes.

_Thumb on the _outside_ of the fist_.

Years later, Kagome would punch a man who grabbed her walking back to her apartment at night. She broke his nose.

_At least Sesshomaru was good for something_, she thought.


	28. Flunk

A/N: Is Kagome even in school anymore? Sometimes you have to wonder. In the beginning of the series, she was always bringing books with her, but as time progressed we see less and less effort on her part to keep up at school. I wonder if she ever told her teachers that her dog ate her homework. These questions crack me up. I like the answer to the third question. It describes the ruler instead of the direct governmental policies; however, that should be description enough. Hurray for Tyranny!

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Flunk

Kagome never thought Japanese History would be so hard.

If she wasn't careful when she took tests, she was liable to write the truth.

1) What were the vows of a Buddhist monk during the Sengoku Jidai?

_Just because they took them doesn't mean they followed them._

2) What were the duties of a typical miko?

_Kill demons, fight black mikos, guard sacred jewels, convince grumpy hanyous to be nice to girls from the future_.

3) How did the government of the West differ from other regions?

_The Lord was an inu-youkai with a fur boa and an evil sword._


	29. Fighters

A/N: THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. What we're looking at here is a sort of Greatest Hits list of everything Momigi and I discussed as we made our way through the long and eventful Shinintai arc. Even though it dragged at times, there were so many good moments there. And reading this ficlet brings a lot of it back to me. Momigi and I are roughly six hours apart these days, and we usually get our first peek of what the other has been up to by reading our latest ficlets over the phone. The night Momigi read "Fighters" to me for the first time I laughed until I cried.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Fighters"

There was Bankotsu, the leader, with his Freudian sword. Then there was Jakotsu…well, the less said about that guy, the better. Creepy. Renkotsu thought he should be the leader, but always chickened out. His shtick was blowing stuff up. Ginkotsu was just plain a crime against nature to begin with. Mukotsu just wanted someone to love, and then smother with poison. And then there was the other guy. What's his name? Kyokotsu.

The Shinintai were quite a group. Honestly Mama, I swear these bad guys we fight against…they're unbelievable. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a bad comic book.


	30. Finish

A/N: Everyone has a theory on how it's gonna end. There have been a couple of points where it could have, but then Takahashi was like, "Um, no." My personal theory is that Kikyou will prove herself to be a hero and drag Naraku down to hell, thus resolving the whole love triangle and definitively beating the bad guy. But as for the jewel, I'm not sure. Kohaku will be in deep trouble when it comes time to work that out. Whatever the case, I think this sums up the emotions of the end at least. Kagome and Inuyasha have had a quiet understanding between one another from the beginning.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Finish

She smiled at him, bloody and trembling, and he stared back helplessly.

It was over.

And he had no idea what to do next.

He'd been planning to tell her—to ask her—

But she was bleeding. And filthy. And starving. And exhausted.

And so was he.

Miraculously, she understood.

Kagome placed the jewel around her neck, and gently took his hand.

"Later," she said.

After their wounds were bandaged. After a bath, and some ramen. After staring into the campfire awhile and working the knots out of their muscles.

After all these years, they could wait a little longer.


	31. Fall

A/N: Looking back, I think it was "osuwari" that first pulled me into Inuyasha. Once Momigi explained the situation to me, I found the setup hilarious beyond belief. Even when I had no idea what was going on, seeing Kagome sit Inuyasha could always make me laugh. In this ficlet Momigi also draws our attention to the Inu/Kag argument cycle, whose predictability is either soothing or frustrating, depending on one's level of cynicism. Well people, this is a cartoon. Anybody out there read Jasper Fforde? Remember, there are only so many stories out there, and originality is rare, precious, and generally unheard of. That hard truth, however, should never be allowed to get in the way of a good time.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Fall"

It was never during the time spent on the ground that Inuyasha contemplated what he'd done to earn him a "sit." That time was spent fuming and yelling at Kagome for invoking her subduing spell yet again. It hurt, but only for a moment; enough to start his temper burning and end with him blowing a fuse while arguing with Kagome. Then she'd get angry, and go home. And he'd get angry, and sulk.

It was during the fall that Inuyasha considered his fate. Always, he wondered why he felt surprised, when he knew very well he had deserved this.


	32. Finish II

A/N: When distributing our f-words between one another, Botan decided that she wanted to take a stab at the word "finish," and make it about the jewel. This is actually more true to her original vision than the first version. Seriously, how can these people have gone through all that and not get all crazy go nuts. And then Inuyasha finally has to admit his true feelings for Kagome after everything that had just happened—what guy wouldn't be nervous? I had to beg her to post this. I came this close to beating it out of her. To me, this will always be my favorite version.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Finish II

Nobody wanted to speak first.

Miroku cradled his healed hand. Sango fidgeted with hiraikotsu. Kagome and Inuyasha stared at the jewel gingerly cradled in Kagome's palm, and Shippou watched them all with wide, wide eyes.

_How is it_, Kagome wondered, _that we never decided what we'd do after?_

Inuyasha was panicking. _It can't wait. I have to ask her now, or she'll leave me. How am I going to tell her—_

A choking sound caught Kagome's attention, and she looked just in time to see a very overwrought hanyou turn his head into the bushes behind them and throw up.


	33. Flinch

A/N: I think Hakadoushi is the most fun of all the Inuyasha villains. Maybe it's because we see him sprout from the severed half of a baby, maybe it's because he has such a cool voice, maybe it's because he wears what Momigi likes to refer to as a clown costume, maybe it's because he always has such an attitude when it comes to Kagura and Kohaku. I always enjoy seeing Kagura and Hakadoushi together in the anime because it's so obvious that Kagura can't quite make up her mind whether to run for her life or spank him.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Flinch"

Kagura was misbehaving again.

Hakudoshi grinned wickedly. One would have assumed by now the wind witch understood that any resistance on her part against Naraku would be futile. Still, she was stubborn. She liked to test how far her strings would take her, before her puppeteer pulled her back. And Hakudoshi liked to be the one dealing out her punishment.

He had threatened her so many times, and yet she never seemed to learn. He could merely glare at Kagura, and immediately he could detect her sense of free-will withering under his gaze. Delicious.

"Kagura," Hakudoshi barked.

The woman flinched.


	34. Funnel

A/N: Just as much as Inuyasha has the mentality of a 15 year old, so I think does Kouga. And does he ever make an entrance. Botan was almost scared of Kouga when he first appeared, flicking blood from his claws. But now she likes him, and the witty bantering that passes between the wolf and the hanyou. I always like to tease her about the fur skirt. There are a couple of times in the series where Kouga slides or falls, and you fully expect it to just flip up and then everyone will see his name, address, and zip code. The fact that he wears a skirt to begin with just cracks me up. Of course, I can see Botan calling me on the floor for my Scottish roots. Well, they're not skirts; they're _kilts_. Kouga's ensemble is completed with matching leg warmers and headband, making him ready to "Get Physical" 1980's style. Oh, and Botan, because I know you'll ask, that's a reference to an Olivia Newton John song. I know how much my song references tend to confuse you.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Funnel

It wasn't discreet, but no-one as fast as he was needed stealth. For Kouga, the huge column of wind and dust was the only way to travel.

It had taken him awhile to perfect his trademark flashy entrance. The first several times he tried to slide out of the funnel he went head over heels, much to Ginta and Hakkaku's secret delight.

The next day he had gotten it right for the first time, and he had tried not to look surprised as he placed himself in a defensive stance against a hanyou and his friends in a deserted village.


	35. Flash

A/N: Classic, wonderful episode—the battle in Inu Papa's tomb, Inuyasha gets Tessaiga, Sesshoumaru loses his arm. Kristine Batey said it best: "I, Sesshoumaru, got the sword. ZAP No I, Sesshoumaru, don't." When I watched this episode with Momigi for the first time and we got to the part where Sesshoumaru transforms it really freaked me out. He sort of smiles, and then his face elongates, and it is really scary. Momigi laughed at me for reacting so strongly, but the way they animate that just makes the whole thing look so absolutely evil and menacing.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Flash"

He felt the sword pulsating.

_Whoa_, he thought, _this_ _thing is totally different from what it was 5 seconds ago._

From behind him, Kagome cheered, "I know you can do it, Inuyasha!"

The hanyou rolled his eyes. "Just wait back there, wench," he snarled.

He had to have faith in himself. This was his father's legendary sword passed down to him, the youngest son, and empowered with demon energy.

_So how the hell do I use it_? Inuyasha thought, exasperated.

The looming figure of Sesshomaru licked his wounded paw, and narrowed his red eyes.

The blade flashed, and then transformed.


	36. Framed

A/N: Ah, Kikyou, Kikyou. The zombie with a heart of…um, something. From the beginning, and I mean her very first appearance, Kikyou has always had her own agenda. Protect the jewel. Protect her own heart. Protect her pride. Protect her soul. She doesn't hang out with Inuyasha, because she has her own ideas on how to bring Naraku down, and he would only cramp her style. In a way, she's like Sesshomaru: self-centered. She travels alone because she believes she alone can bring down the bad guy and save the day. Pity anyone who should stand in her way. But that has seemed to change in the manga. Now she's trouncing around with Kohaku. It seems only fitting; they are their own UnDead Plot-devices Society.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Framed

It wasn't what he'd expected.

That long journey through the mountains he'd dared to think—dared to _hope_.

After all, he was the one who'd gotten sealed. If he wanted—if he looked into her eyes and saw—_something_—then he could forgive, couldn't he?

She must have had a reason.

But when she stood there, pale and defiant, bleeding her life's blood before his eyes, and when she glared at him and screamed—

_Why did you betray me?_

It was as though a dark chasm had opened up before his feet and he had blundered helplessly into unending darkness.


	37. Fluffy

A/N: The fluff is not a tail. I know that some people call it a tail, but that doesn't make any sense to me and I refuse to accept it. Other people say it is the pelt of the Inu-no-Taisho, and while that makes more sense I don't think that is the indisputable answer either. Frankly I have always suspected that the fluff was nothing more than a fashion accessory. Well, be honest now, he wouldn't BE Sesshoumaru without the fluff. Sesshoumaru and the fluff together create an unforgettable look. Takahashi-san recognizes this—that's why the stuff keeps getting bigger as the story goes on. Seriously, it is growing if you go back and look.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

"Fluffy"

It was the reason why Naraku wore a baboon pelt.

It was the reason why Rin loved traveling in the winter with him.

It was the reason why Kagura got up in the morning.

It was the reason why Kagome snickered when Inuyasha muttered his brother's name jealously.

It was the reason why Jakotsu stayed and fought, instead of seeking the little dog ears he so loved on Inuyasha.

Everyone wanted a piece of the fluffy.

Sesshomaru wasn't about to ruin the mystique by admitting it was just something he found and put on because he thought it looked cool.


	38. Flirt

A/N: I'm currently in the throes of writing a Sess/Rin fic, throwing snippets to Botan as I go. She requested a Jakken and Rin scene, because the interactions they have in the series are hilarious. I agree. I will forever adore the moment where Rin sings, "Jakken-sama! Jakken-sama! Why are you so green?" And when she drags Jakken around Mt. Hakurei because she's bored, and he's getting zapped with the pure aura of the place, and she tells him to quit whining. And the episode where Jakken is sick, and Rin has to save him. Countless priceless moments between a girl and her frog. Really, I don't know how Sesshomaru can stay so straight-faced with those two always around.

Witty Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha; however we are capable of stealing hairs and making Shikigami counterparts, complete with fun-noodle swords.

Flirt

"_Look_ at that! How can she pretend she doesn't like him? She's _touching_ him. What can she _possibly _see in him?"

"She's not—"

"She's mine! How can she think I'll tolerate such behavior? And look at him! He's not even trying to stop her! It's like I don't even exist!"

"I don't think—"

"I'm the one who protects her! And I've protected him too! And this is how they repay me? She's going to run off with a little—"

"Will you shut up Sesshoumaru? For the last time—there's no way Rin has a thing for Jaken!"


End file.
